Gold. And since virtually all the people I have called "Boss" have been on the narcissist spectrum, I intuitively learned to use your tactic.
Works a treat.
Also, my mother passed in 2005, a life-long smoker, who had her last cigarette on the drive to the hospital where she would spend her last two weeks of her live on a ventilator. I visited her daily during this sad experience, and universally, I saw her respiratory therapists outside smoking. Not one or two of them, EVERY ONE OF THEM was smoking. I asked one of them as I was heading out to grab some lunch, and she said that she planned to quit before the damage was irreparable.
Love this! As a psychologist (now retired) I’ve had many narcissistic patients. My diagnosis of this was easy: if I left the room and they kept talking I was dealing with a narcissist. Worked every single time! Very helpful article! 🙏
It may offend those with narcissistic personalities but, then, maybe we have more of those types today given how much schools since the Powell memo (1971) have abandoned humanities.
If we had more humanities -- more discussion of "others," and seeing them in larger contexts -- we might all welcome the perspectives anecdotes offer. Just as we all might better rid ourselves of racism, xenophobia, and all the other claptrap of letting rule too much group think, and all the other categorical and abstracted thinking standardized testing has pushed (as it's helped push away humanities).
I learned how to get along with others by figuring out what worked with my mother. Self-centered but not narcissistic. However, she was very difficult to deal with until I "changed the script" by changing how I reacted. Instead of arguing, I would change the subject or agree with her (even if I really didn't). It worked, we had a good adult relationship before she died. It took work and conscious effort. But it was a successful strategy.
Gold. And since virtually all the people I have called "Boss" have been on the narcissist spectrum, I intuitively learned to use your tactic.
Works a treat.
Also, my mother passed in 2005, a life-long smoker, who had her last cigarette on the drive to the hospital where she would spend her last two weeks of her live on a ventilator. I visited her daily during this sad experience, and universally, I saw her respiratory therapists outside smoking. Not one or two of them, EVERY ONE OF THEM was smoking. I asked one of them as I was heading out to grab some lunch, and she said that she planned to quit before the damage was irreparable.
What the ****?!?!?!?
Love this! As a psychologist (now retired) I’ve had many narcissistic patients. My diagnosis of this was easy: if I left the room and they kept talking I was dealing with a narcissist. Worked every single time! Very helpful article! 🙏
I have a quibble with "avoid anecdotes."
It may offend those with narcissistic personalities but, then, maybe we have more of those types today given how much schools since the Powell memo (1971) have abandoned humanities.
If we had more humanities -- more discussion of "others," and seeing them in larger contexts -- we might all welcome the perspectives anecdotes offer. Just as we all might better rid ourselves of racism, xenophobia, and all the other claptrap of letting rule too much group think, and all the other categorical and abstracted thinking standardized testing has pushed (as it's helped push away humanities).
I learned how to get along with others by figuring out what worked with my mother. Self-centered but not narcissistic. However, she was very difficult to deal with until I "changed the script" by changing how I reacted. Instead of arguing, I would change the subject or agree with her (even if I really didn't). It worked, we had a good adult relationship before she died. It took work and conscious effort. But it was a successful strategy.